Covert Conflict in the Workplace

 When we think about conflict in the workplace, we often think of an obvious personality clash between two people which everyone is aware of and they try to avoid like the plague. In effect, it is an overt conflict and, if we think about it, this type of conflict is quite extreme and, relatively speaking, not that common. Much more common, and less obvious, is the covert conflict that happens on a regular basis between people and/or teams. Such conflict can damage an individual’s or team’s performance, resulting in the company underperforming. In economic terms, the damage such covert conflict causes could be referred to as “performance opportunity costs” i.e., the cost of opportunities lost through underperformance arising from covert conflict. What is this covert conflict and where does it arise from?

Think about a time you had a robust discussion about an idea or decision and walked away with a spring in your step, feeling energized and engaged. No conflict, right? Even though it was a robust sharing of ideas and debating different aspects, you walked away with a positive feeling. Now, think about a time you had a similar level of robust discussion and walked away angry, irritated, annoyed, agitated and/or upset. Conflict, right? But what’s the difference? They were both robust discussions but one had no negative effect on you while the other left you distracted, possibly for days. The difference is the negative emotional turmoil that the second situation caused. This resultant emotional turmoil is the cause of the conflict and the conflict is often unstated. We often attempt to hold in the frustration or the anger and don’t specifically name it during the discussion but if we bring it away with us, a low-level conflict situation has been created.

For any business owner, executive or manager reading this, an obvious question is “so what?” So what if low-level conflict situations arise? So what if two staff members or managers are now a little more wary of each other? What’s that got to do with my business? It has a lot to do with your business. Two people engaged in a low-level conflict situation might start to avoid each other and are less likely to share ideas again so openly; nor will they voluntarily share important information. They might start to make decisions informed by the conflict rather than make the best decision for the organization. They might even start complaining to others about each other, drawing other people into the conflict. So, from the company’s perspective, such a conflict undermines the organization’s ability to maximize performance, resulting in lost opportunities, squandered resources, lost focus on the company’s objectives and poor decisions. Business is difficult enough without adding those unnecessary factors into the mix.

What causes this conflict? Why can we have a discussion with one person that has no negative outcomes while someone else can drive us to distraction? Ultimately, conflict is a result of our expectations. We enter situations with specific expectations, whether we realize it or not. When those expectations are not met, it generates emotional turmoil, leading to the conflict. Where are our expectations generated from? They typically come from either our values or our desires and may be a combination of both. They can also come from the process of “being led to believe”, either by being told that x will happen or by previous experience providing indicators of what to expect. This is why the concept of “managing expectations” is so important in business.

To finish off, a challenge for you: over the next few days, identify situations that generate negative emotional turmoil for you and identify what the cause is. Did you have expectations that weren’t met? If so, where did those expectations come from? And don’t forget to come back and share your learnings.

Stress-testing Your Reality

What with the European banking stress tests that have been going on and the on-going lack of effective solutions to the Euro crisis, it brought to mind the need to stress-test one’s ability to recognise the reality of situations and how important this is for a leader. Clearly, there’s been a lot of “heads in sand” going on over the last few years, in the US and Irish property and financial markets at any rate. But is the ability to clearly see the wood for the trees that important?

I have just finished reading the very excellent book “Good to Great”, by Jim Collins. For those of you who haven’t heard of it, Jim Collins and his team spent 5 years researching if it was possible for a “good” company to actively develop itself into becoming a “great” company and then wrote a book about their findings. Only 11 eleven companies made it past the tough selection criteria but for those that did, one of the common denominators was the need for each company to take a good, long hard look at themselves and, with a level of painful honesty, to clearly recognise and understand what did and didn’t work. That said, they also needed to hold strongly to a belief that they could do better, much, much better. They named this duality, the Stockdale Paradox.

While Jim and his team found this duality to be a paradox, I was struck by how the Stockdale Paradox seemed to nicely capture two elements of emotioanl intelligence – reality testing and optimism. As is well established at this stage, IQ is not the be all and end all of intelligence and other things such as the ability to deal with stress or build relationships with others are often much more important in dealing with everyday life. Specifically, reality testing is the ability to see things as they really are, not as we fear them to be (too low) or how we wish them to be (too high). Optimism is the ability to look at the brighter side of life and to maintain a positive attitude, even in the face of adversity. Again, low Optimism tends towards the pessimistic while overly high optimism moves into Walter Mitty territory.

As I read the book, it struck me that the Stockdale Paradox provided wonderful evidence of two elements that are vital for effective leaders: the ability to maintain a positive outlook and keep going, even when times are tough plus the ability to see the reality of the situation and adjust appropriately and in a considered way. So, the evidence would suggest that a leader’s ability to clearly see the woods for the trees is a key factor to long-term success. Is this what separates the effective from the lucky leaders?  Have you seen examples of these behaviours in action in your workplace?

How Personal Values Impact Daily Life

Values is a much referenced idea but what exactly are values and what difference does understanding them make to someone’s life? While there are many definitions of values, I use the following: Personal values are an internal set of standards that each of us expects ourselves, and others, to live up to. These standards are sufficiently worthwhile to us that we spend extra time and effort behaving in ways that uphold them.

Some typical values include: respect, fairness, honesty, and ambition; but an individual’s actual values are by no means restricted to the predictable. Even though many of us are not explicitly aware of what our values are, it is important to recognize that we all have personal values and that those values inform how we view the world.

Intuitively, an individual who isn’t explicitly aware of his or her values may find it difficult to navigate their world, be it their internal or external world or both.

Impact on Internal World

Going back to the definition of personal values, by not being explicitly aware of what his or her values are, it is hard for them to know exactly what they expect of themselves. In turn, this can lead to making decisions and behaving in ways that don’t uphold their values, causing uneasiness and internal turmoil. Looking at an example, Carla values respect but isn’t explicitly aware of this. She finds herself regularly putting down people she feels are incompetent. Whenever she finds herself in this situation, she feels really bad afterwards but doesn’t really know why. Carla is behaving inconsistently with her value of respect, which causes her to feel terrible about her behavior without understanding the cause.

Impact on External World

In relation to our interactions with others, we unconsciously filter the world through our own values. Again, going back to our definition of personal values, we all have values but we don’t all have the same values. This means that we filter other people’s behavior and actions through our values, even though they might not share that value. In Carla’s case, she values respect so if someone else, who happens to value perfection, is constantly looking for updates (because they want to ensure the task will be done properly), Carla is likely to see this as disrespectful of her ability to complete the task. This may well generate conflict between these two people, without either party understanding the cause.

By an individual becoming explicitly aware of their own personal values, he or she is better able to minimize these negative impacts in their live. By behaving in ways that uphold, rather than upset, their values, they reduce their inner turmoil. By recognizing the filters they use to evaluate the world around them, they are better able to spot situations where they are applying these filters, make the necessary adjustments to see the world more clearly and, in turn, reducing the likelihood of conflict arising. 

Do you know what your values are and have you seen how your values impact your daily live?

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Irial_OFarrell

Charismatic Leadership: Help or Hinderance?

While recently delivering a module on Leadership, several participants suggested that Charisma is high up on the list of important qualities for a leader. Research, however, would indicate that many effective leaders are humble, to the point that Charisma is the last word used to describe them. So, is charisma a key ingredient to effective Leadership or does it undermine leadership?

Firstly, what exactly is Charisma? The dictionary definition is that it is “a special personal quality or power of an individual, which makes him or her capable of influencing or inspiring large numbers of people.” So, a charismatic person tends to be able to persuade and influence a person, or group of people, to agree to things and do things that they might not ordinarily agree to for anyone else.

This ability usually shows up early in a person’s career. A charismatic individual cajoles, inspires, persuades others to get things done, so he or she is seen as a individual who get results. In most organisations, successful delivery of results leads to promotion, often several and, before they know it, the individual is in a position of leadership.

To recap, we now have a person who has the proven ability to inspire and influencing large numbers of people in a position of leadership, which is all about influencing and inspiring large numbers of people. A perfect fit, right? On the face of it, it does indeed seem perfect and yet, it often doesn’t turn out that way. Long-term, charismatic leaders are often less successful than their less-charismatic colleagues. Over time, many charismatic leaders are “found out” to be less than upfront, less than perfect. Why the disconnect?

Peeling back the layers, it comes down to “intention” and “responsibility”. A charismatic leader knows they have the ability to influence people to do what he or she wants them to do. After all, they’ve had years of practice and have been rewarded accordingly. So, they have personally gained from being charismatic and that can become addictive. Why give up something that comes naturally and you gain from?

Effective leadership, however, goes beyond personal interest and gain, and becomes about the wider needs of the organisation. This translates into, at times, doing something that is not in one’s own best interest but is in the best interests of the company. If a charismatic leader can make that leap from acting in self-interest to acting for the good of the company, charisma is a very powerful tool to help inspire others to achieve those goals and purpose. If, on the other hand, they use their charisma for their own ends, it becomes a hindrance and diminishes a leader’s long-term effectiveness.

So, a charismatic leader has a responsibility to clearly recognise and understand their true intentions before they engage in influencing others. If the intention is for the greater good, Charisma serves as a very effective, helpful tool. Used for self-interest, however, Charisma can become a double-edged sword.

So, a charismatic leader has a responsibility to clearly recognise and understand their true intentions before they engage in influencing others. If the intention is for the greater good, Charisma serves as a very effective, helpful tool. Used for self-interest, however, Charisma can become a double-edged sword.

What do you think – help or hinderance?

Two Sides of the Leadership Coin

New year, new decade, let’s hope we can consign the hairy elements of 2009 to the noughties.  In the meantime, talking leadership is where it’s at (in this section, at any rate).  Thought as a starting blog for 2010, I’d explore two elements of Leadership – self-leadership and organisational leadership – which we can then mull over in more detail in further blogs.

As I see it, Self-Leadership covers both how we manage ourselves and how we present ourselves to others.  Presenting our ideas and influencing others to adopt them is vital to the success of a leader; but what elements are necessary within an individual to culminate in being a successful leader?  Authentic Leadership (see previous blog for more on this topic) is one element but what are the others?

Organisational Leadership deals with looking at the organisation’s future and positioning it to be able to survive, evolve and grow, long-term.  Enabling long-term survival and growth necessarily includes managing the short- and medium-term.  So, what skills are needed to be able to successfully lead an organisation?

As I see it, these topics are two sides of the same leadership coin.  Leaders need a sense of where they’re going and then, they need to bring others along with them.  Over the next few blogs, I’ll explore the two sides in more detail.  In the meantime, what skills and qualities do you admire in the people you consider leaders?

Authentic Leadership

The phrase “Authentic Leadership” has gained currency over the last few years but what exactly does it mean? How does “leadership” become “authentic”? Well, its probably fair to say that most people fall into leadership (e.g., senior management) roles. The route many (most?) people take is that they get a job somewhere, find out they’re pretty good at the technical stuff, get promoted, quite like the extra responsiblity/kudos and get promoted a couple more times. Sound familiar? The thing is that, for many of these people, they have a little voice somewhere within their earshot that keeps making comments such as “you’ll be found out one of these days” or “you’re never going to be able to pull this one off”. In coaching terms, this companion is called a “gremlin” and gremlins resent being told what to do. Having this negative loop playing in one’s head can have a negative impact on the manager which, at times, can severely hamper performance and decision-making. After all, making a decision with those sort of “useful insights” running around one’s head would have anyone questioning their skills and abilities; when someone else starts questioning the manager’s decisions, then the fire-works can really start. An authentic leader is one that has a strong sense of who they are and what they’re about. They have spent time understanding themselves, uncovering their beliefs and defining their values. In a nutshell, they understand what makes them tick. This provides them a stable platform to put their head above the parapet, make conscious decisions that they believe in and lead others confidently. To me, an authentic leader is one who is not “blowing in the wind”. By this, I mean someone who is consistent in their message and isn’t going to change their mind once an aspect of a plan or decision is questioned. Since an Authentic Leader has a very strong sense of self, this allows them engage fully with others by encouraging debate, welcoming criticism and incorporating changes that support the overall objectives. This in turn makes for better decisions, better implementation and better performance, as people feel they can contribute and be heard, a vitally important aspect to engaging staff. More of staff engagement anon. What’s your take on “Authentic Leadership”?

The Starting Point of Leadership

Leadership, or the lack thereof, has been receiving a lot of attention over the past year but, let’s face it, it’s a fairly woolly topic.  There’s as many definitions of Leadership as there are people.  Personally, I define leadership as the ability to look forward and clearly see the future you want for your organisation, to communicate this throughout the organisation and to enable people to achieve it.

Of course, notwithstanding differences of opinion, the definition is the easiest part.  How does one actually develop themselves sufficiently to become a Leader?  With a lot of hard work – but, in the meantime, here are three key elements that good leaders develop over time:

Self-Awareness: A good leader has a very honest understanding and appreciation of who they are and what makes them tick.  They are  relatively consistent in both their behaviour and their message and are seldom swayed by the current breeze blowing e.g., they don’t keep changing their minds or take the most expedient route (because it’s easy).

Excellent Communication: Communication is made up of 3 main elements – listening, body language and asking questions.  As the saying goes, a good leader will listen and speak in the same proportion as their mouth and ears i.e., listen twice as much as they speak.  For most people, listening was not a God-given gift so, start practicing your listening skills today.

Combining Self-Awareness and Communication, another aspect of communication is the old chestnut – Actions Speak Louder than Words.  A good leader really understands that people will place way, way, way more emphasis on their actions than what they actually say.  So many Managers seem to think it’s enough to say the words and that people will accept them.  People don’t, they look for the credibility that comes with matching the actions to the words.

Take Time to Reflect: If you’re going to have a vision of the future, it makes sense that you take some time out of the day-to-day and consider what you’re trying to do.  This is not a particularly easy thing to do.  Most people are so busy with the every-day that they don’t have  time to consider the need to step back, let alone do it.

However, it’s important to schedule in time to reflect.  Put it in the diary, go somewhere quiet and start asking yourself questions such as “what am I (we) doing?”, “what am I (we) doing this for?”, “what do I (we) want to be doing?”, “will I (we) achieve that by what I (we) am currently doing?”

Being a leader takes a huge amount of energy and effort, and it can be a lonely place at times, but wouldn’t turning a dream into reality be worth it?  Answers on a postcard, or at least your thoughts in the comments section…